While I’m not born-again, here is a testimony of how I came across Pam Sheppard Ministries and how I learned love and trust in the Lord conquers fear.
My mother and I were extremely into the occult. We read the books of Edgar Cayse, bought healing stones, visited psychic fairs at his headquarters, etc. I myself was particularly involved in the New Age Movement through receiving energy healing (reiki) through videos on the Internet to alleviate severe Eczema. Usually, I had a set number of channels that I would receive the reiki from: There was about 3-4 of them that I preferred. However, I sought a new user that could offer stronger ‘benefits.’ The subsequent Youtuber I found claimed that he could open all 72 chakras of the body through various spirits and reiki symbols, which he would send to those viewing his videos. He also had an assistant with him that would amplify the effects.
Now moving back slightly earlier in the week, my mother had just recently started reading the Bible and gotten increasing religious. She quoted the verse Deuteronomy 18:10-12 and wished for me to refrain from New Age practices like she had, “Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, practices divination or conjury, interprets omens, practices sorcery, casts spells, consults a medium or familiar spirit, or inquires of the dead. For whoever does these things is detestable to the LORD.” Personally, I felt like the occult had more meat, love, and understanding than any Christian church that I had ever seen. So, I was resistant.
Needless to say, after watching the Youtuber, I felt increasingly ‘off’ for the next 1-2 days. The symptoms were like a spiritual cold: I felt inexplicably weak, drained, and off-center. It was when I had to admit, my mother was probably right: The New Age was no good after all. Therefore, I threw out all my New Age stuff and got ready to start a new leaf as a dedicated, religious Christian. (At that point, I thought ‘religious’ was potentially a good word. I’ve come a long way since then.)
A major problem was my mother had no idea about how repentance worked. She claims at each night, we should ask God to forgive us and cleanse us of our sins. We must make it our resolve to be clean in the sight of the Lord and pray constantly for the spiritual wellbeing of ourselves and our loved ones. The latter is understandable. Although, it also echoed the behavior of Job, whose fear and lack of trust in the Lord resulted in him becoming self-righteous, fearful, and most of all RELIGIOUS. Everything seemed to be like more of a perfectionistic performance where no one garnered any enjoyment, let alone bear any fruit.
I was choking on all the sins that I would do throughout the day. I was counting them up like ants. Not to mention, I was struggling with changing my mindset from the laxity of the occult to the rigidness of religiosity. It seemed like every thought seemed like the wrong one. Then, I heard a doctrine where the Lord hears your thoughts and uses them to place judgment upon you from a pastor, who also joked about people sent to Hell if they didn’t accept Jesus. That’s when I got really torn-up on the inside: I felt incredibly guilty for my involvement in the occult and most of all, I was afraid. Terrified of myself and everyone around me. Scared to death of my mistakes and other people’s.
That is when blasphemous thoughts ramped up in my mind. All day. Every day. Every hour. Things got so bad between the endless onslaught of thoughts against Christ and worshiping the Devil. I was throwing up after nearly every meal from anxiety of where my salvation stood. I lost twelve pounds. A doctor mentioned that my blood pressure was low, likely from the lack of food.
I started attending church to curb my ceaseless torment from what I felt was a spiritual attack from the Enemy for leaving the occult. From what I understood, the Enemy couldn’t attack you in church. Yet, I was. It didn’t make sense to me. The deeper I was falling into religion, the deeper I was falling into insanity.
It was in this severe condition that I found Pam Sheppard Ministries through an article that I found on opening chakras and torment. After some deliberation, I took the leap to question everything I have ever known and embark on a spiritual journey (which I still continue today.)
Making that comment asking for Pastor Pam’s help was the best decision that I’ve ever made in my life.
From Pastor Pam, I learned that I wasn’t born again. It wasn’t my job to make myself repent to Christ. I had to wait on the Holy Spirit to rebirth my spirit on the Lord’s time. One bad thought wasn’t condemning than any other thought that I’ve had. I also learned God wasn’t looking for perfection. He often uses mistakes for spiritual growth and development. If people could reach perfection like religious people (myself at one time) tend to, then why did God need to die and be resurrected at the cross to cleanse His Elect’s sins?
Most importantly, my torment was virtually defeated by this simple lesson:
Trust in the Lord. He knows you better than you know you. If there is no defeat, there is no getting saved. He /loves/ you.
You got to understand, Pastor Pam saved my life with her love, guidance, and experience. She’s always patient and kind, telling the truth in love. I owe the bright, young woman that I am today to her. She gave me the affirmation which said, ‘In Christ, there is nothing to fear, and HE says perfect love casts out fear.’
It’s an honor to be a part of Pastor Pam’s ministry and serve under its namesake. I know without the Lord guiding me here, I might not be walking the planet nor find unfathomable trust in Him for my salvation.
Here is the link to Pastor Pam’s article that overhauled everything that I’ve ever known about religion and the occult: It started the journey that led me here.
https://settingcaptivesfree.me/…/christians-who-open…/
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